I’ve been really sad about the choices I made in my life that lead to me NOT being the second member of the American rhythmic gymnastics Olympic team.
I got this.
Went to bed at 10 pm, woke up at 1 am, now it’s 4:15 and I’ve been trying to sleep for 3 hours.
Edit: I have to be up at 6:30.
I had a lot of time alone this summer, which meant a lot of time to think. I thought about everything: from the relatively inconsequential (whether I would make a good dog owner [probably not], if I should grow my hair out or cut it short again [somewhere in the middle], if I can pull off neon colors [nope]) to the weighty and mostly unanswerable (do I have enough friends [???], what does love feel like [????}, what does it feel/look/taste/smell/sound like to be in a healthy relationship [?????]).
“He was actually flipping over other dogs and sitting on them.”
- (The UNINVITED drunk girl at the big party broke a piece of a sugar bow off the wedding-like cake and ate it and the host was naturally very angry, those cakes are like v expensive.)
- Friend of host: Did you eat the bow?!?
- Drunk girl: I did eat the bow.
- Friend of host: You ate the bow!?!?!
- Drunk girl: I ate the bow.
- Friend of host: Why would you do that?
- Drunk girl: Because I wanted to!
- Party host: You ate my bow?
- Drunk girl: Yes. I have a sugar problem, I needed some sugar. I needed the sugar.
- Party host: I have food in my house. I can get you some food!
- Drunk girl: But it's not out here. I needed sugar. I have a sugar problem!
- Party host: Is your sugar problem wrapped up in a rudeness problem??
- Drunk girl: (silence)
- Drunk girl: I'll buy you a new cake.
- (cut away)
- Friend of host: Sugar problem. Also known as an alcohol problem.
Except two times in my life I’ve been on dates with sexy male athletes and the whole time all I could think about was how hungry I was and how bad doing sports makes my kneesbackheadsoulheart hurt.
I’ve been pretending to be sick for two days now, and really I’ve just eaten a lot of pasta and watched almost all of Season 4 of Doctor Who.