Conversation with my mom on the phone.
- Me: (silence)
- Mom: Are you looking at baby tigers online?
- Me: ....no.
February 2012
54 posts
“I wonder if the frog is a prince.”
—
A child wondering about Frog Prince.
“Of course he’s a prince, idiot. It’s called FROG PRINCE.” - me, feeling irritable today.
This blog will quickly become all OKCupid all the time.
- Man: Hey, I somehow found myself on your page and I just had to say –I’m impressed. I initially thought you might just be like all the other pretty and pointless girls out there, but it seems that you might have a certain style and panache. So, I’m curious. What do you think makes you different from all the other girls? Am I right to be impressed.
- Me: Nope! I'm pretty AND pointless. PRETTY POINTLESS, GET IT?!
- Man: Hey everyone has there own way of expressing things and if this is your way it's open.
Googling Ferguson on a Saturday night to find images of Ferguson from Clarissa Explains It All.
Reason Google needs a link up to my brain #1 billion.
The first reason is that time that I simply Googled Tuesday looking for the weather in Boston on the following Tuesday.
Is the proper past-tense for "Neti Pot" "Neti Potted" or "Neti'd Pot"?
Seeing as it’s not a legitimate verb, I guess I will never know, but I wish I’d used “Neti’d Pot” because it’s more ridiculous.
mel0di replied to your photo: The tall white oval is a lamp. The small white…
I love love love this. where’d you get the sconce? and the yellow flowers?
The sconce and frames and shelf and elephant all came from an Etsy shopping spree. The flowers are actually a craft I found on Pinterest. Here’s the link. We can all have huge felt flowers on our walls!
Is framing fabrics too artsy craftsy for my art blogging roommate? Yes? You would think "he's a dude, he doesn't care." But he is from France and lives in Brooklyn and writes for an art blog and is just like that. So. You know. I think he cares. But it's my house and I like vintage paint by numbers and framed fabric and old red elephant coin banks, so shut up French art blogging roommate whose room is always impeccable and who knows where HIS thermometer is at all times.
SHUT UP.
It's got to be total bullshit to be 13 and to lose Grand Supreme to a 3 year old.
They gotta be like “Fuck you, I played the fucking harp and you jumped around like a frog for 3 minutes and blew some fucking kisses.”
Toddlers & Tiaras code:
She has lots of personality. = We paid a lot of money for coaching.
None of these girls has lots of personality on stage. Personality makes you unique. The ones that they say have lots of personality are the ones who do the same exact faces and walks as every single other person who ends up getting a crown.
This little girl wants to be the very first beauty queen doctor preacher.
That beats the hell out of what I wanted to be at that age. (Car mechanic.)
The main thing I think about while watching Toddlers & Tiaras is how fucking annoying these kids must be in school.
“Oh God. Shut up, you little idiot.” - real thing a teacher has thought about one of those children.
OK FREEZER. FINE. YOU WIN. I WILL EAT ALL THE SORBET TO KEEP IT FROM MELTING. I WILL EAT ALL OF IT.
Freezer plays a pretty good game.
Every single Ron Swanson monologue makes me giggle uncontrollably.
“Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.”
Is there really no restaurant in Brooklyn that will deliver Top Ramen to me?
Or a rent-a-boyfriend service that will send a man over to nurse me back to health by cooking the ramen in my cabinet?
