I didn’t have to even talk to the stupid bitch I mentioned this morning. She’s not in my co-teaching team, so I may never have to directly interact with her again! BTW I LOVE MY COLLABORATION TEAM.
Things are going very well at teacher summer camp.
I had a minor kidney infection week one. And I keep accidentally missing dinner. But so far, this place is fun. Fun! FUN!
That’s right. I met only one person out of several hundred so far that makes me angry just by existing near me.
The only way that I can see to fix this situation at this point is to be purposefully nice to her right off the bat. Maybe she will be nice to me back? Or maybe her stupid, poopy personality will still shine through and I will just have to PERSEVERE. PERSEVERE PEOPLE. PERSEVERE THROUGH THIS STUPID BITCH’S PERSONALITY.
It’s 5:30 am and I already have to persevere. Fuck this day.
Yo, if I ever describe myself as spunky, fucking punch me in the face. Only people under the age of 15 should be described as spunky and even then only if they are a fictional character in a children’s book series.
It could be worse, you could have a flat ass.
Or even the elusive fat-but-flat ass.
as you squeeze in to your favorite jeans from high school.
Forgive me, gods of body image, for I have seen it and it cannot be unseen.
beer and ice cream will never, ever go together.
I met my new roommate a week ago today, and I really, really like her. This is weird because I only really, really like like 5 people* on the planet and 1 of them is related to me and 3 of them I didn’t really like when I first met them. So, now I have a new friend, I think. Maybe it’s too early to tell?
Do you ever spend the entire duration of the early part of a friendship waiting for it to be discovered that your new friend doesn’t like you as much as she tolerates you and that she thinks you talk way too much?
I know, how unique, right? Many, many people are scared of needles. It’s an unnatural process, piercing our skin with vaccines or our veins to draw blood. I know WHY we do (science? right? something to do with science?), but I fucking hate it. We all hate it. It’s THE FUCKING WORST.
But I am terrified of needles. The doctor says “blood work,” and I faint (literally). I once so passionately and hysterically refused blood work that my stern Russian doctor wrote me a prescription for Lexapro and told me to call my mother.
That being said, I had to get a shot today. I did it like a total champ. I did my mindfulness breathing (therapy talk for just straight up breathing like a normal non-hysterical person). I didn’t look at the needle. I went to a safe place. The nurse did have to tell me to relax my arm like 15 times, and I did wince like she’d just sawed my arm off, but I did it and I didn’t even cry.
I called my mom afterward, and she was very proud.
Then she told me the story of the time when I was 6 and I was pouting because I didn’t want to get a shot, so the nurse leaned over me to tell me it was going to be alright and I smacked her in the face, apropos of nothing. She didn’t even have the needle in her hand. My mother laughed and laughed and laughed.
I think I have a lay-down-and-go-to-sleep-because-it-will-all-go-away-by-the-time-you-wake-up instinct.
You’re a fainting goat.
Heat turns me in to a shiny, pink ragebeast. I don’t know how I’m going to manage to wrangle these kids in to the city to visit their mom without killing them or at the very least dripping toxic rage sweat on them and turning them in to shiny, pink ragebeasts.
I’ll just be here for the next two hours, mainlining some agua. Can someone tell me where my messages are on this new Tumblr deal?
I couldn’t have done this alone. If it weren’t for all you strangers who are so eager (eager?) to read about by daily (more like weekendly) exploits, then there would’ve been no Fire Island trip digest. And if it weren’t for my friends who encourage spur of the moment trips, I would literally have nothing to talk about. Ever.
That being said, sorry for the really disappointing packing list. Bring sunscreen, condoms and a sense of humor.
