Not like a lose weight diet, but like a CONTROL YOURSELF DAMMIT diet. Along with my diet, I’m going to have a work out plan. Not like a become super fit plan, but like a MOVE YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU FUSE WITH THE COUCH DAMMIT plan.
THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP PEOPLE. MY LIFE IS JUST LIKE THIS NOW. THIS IS WHO I AM THESE DAYS. ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION NOW? ARE YOU?
phofascinating replied to your post: It’s when I need to use Urban Dictionary to understand the definition of a phrase in Urban Dictionary that I’m reminded that I’m not only an old lady but also a lame lady.
i just learned roll deep from these slang cards that sparkleneely has! and then we were watching snl this weekend with chris brown and he was seriously “rolling deep” during the credit roll, there wasn’t even any room for the cast. i get it!
Yeah, I was about to use it in a blog entry, but I hesitated before I hit “Create post” because I realized I was not 100% certain what it meant. I just thought it meant “I’m really really cool.” Turns out it does mean that, but more specifically that you have a large entourage.
For the record, I was going to say “I ate 1/4 pound of cheese alone in my bed tonight because, yeah, I roll deep.” Basically the opposite of its meaning.
Quote from David Mitchell (via furtivelittlefeelings)
This is my whole thing. This is my whole personality.
Me: For sex reasons, I suspect.” —
Two nerds trying to figure out the ways of the world.
(aka trying to figure out this video: Everybody Needs A Hobby.)
uprightcitizens replied to your post: Just had an incredibly vivid memory of the time I saw a homeless man masturbating at the La Brea Tar Pits.
I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY VIVID MEMORY OF BEING SCARED SHITLESS BY THE HUGE WOOLLY MAMMOTH ROBOT IN THERE. I was in a dinosaur phase so my parents thought it would be good to take me there but I was FOUR and it was HORRIFYING.
I was 23 when I went. I went because my whole life has been a prolonged My Girl phase.
I really wanted to buy some tar pit tar, but the lady said it was too messy to sell. I told her I thought I would be a good tar owner, but she just sold me some black goop that I gave to my then boyfriend. Later I knocked it off his bookshelf, and it spilled all over a treasured book he’d received as a gift from a friend of his. It looks like the La Brea Tar Pit got the last laugh on that one.
And I was like, “Man, we all feel the same way, but at least keep it in your pants.”
- Scooby Doo Bermuda Triangle movie, Thelma: Captain, can you tell us where this cruise is headed?
- Me, to E and J, both 5: Why would anyone get on a cruise without knowing where they were going? Ask yourselves that.
- E and J: ...
carriescott replied to your post: carriescott answered your question: Guys, just…
“I think I’ve seen a poop snake before.”
I’ve definitely pooped a snake before.
carriescott answered your question: Guys, just curious-
what if it’s singular, like, “what does a snake’s poop look like?” What’s the more important question here?
What does a snake’s poop look like?
What does a snake poop look like?
What does a poop snake look like?
What like snake does a look poop?
A poop snake like what does look?
Look a snake does like what poop?
Snake like does a what poop look?
Like a snake poop does what look?
What do snake poops look like?
emilytoldmeto replied to your link: I’m addicted to this game. My longest streak so far is 60 words. I DARE YOU TO BEAT ME.
ENSNARED IN MY TRAP. Now you will never sleep again.
And then I realize that I will never be cooler than I am right now.
I have a new picture.
- Nurse: Oh my god, you look like a baby. How old are you?
- Me: 24?
- Nurse: You're just a tiny baby!
- [10 seconds of silence and staring, then she walks out of the room.]