August 2010
25 posts
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Awkward bros:
This pretty much sums up my interactions with all cool people ever.
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35% of New Jersey voters believe that the cast...
Or so say the results of a Quinnipiac University poll.
The director of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute summed up the results by saying, “New Jerseyans to New York: Keep your low-lifes at home and away from our seashore.”
I, for one, don’t care where they’re from or what shore they’re on, good television is good television.
Also, that poll director...
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“We’ve been attempting to reach him since 7 o’clock Tuesday...”
– Bruce Davis, the Academy’s executive director, on his repeated attempts to inform Jean-Luc Godard that he’s been awarded an honorary Oscar.
I just love cranky Hollywood outsiders.
Why is it that the BBC always provides me with the...
“Bullet found in Polish man’s head: A Polish man living in Germany spends five years with a bullet in his head after forgetting he was shot because he was drunk.”
Things to know from this story:
He doesn’t remember whether it was 2004 or 2005 that he was shot in the head
He thought the bullet was a cyst
He told the doctors that he “remembered having a sore...
Hilarious real news story: Fat-fingered Sumo...
I had no idea that giant sumo wrestlers had this much trouble communicating. How sadly hilarious.
Fat-fingered sumo wrestlers, unable to tap the keys on a standard mobile phone, are being given iPads to help improve communication.
The Japan Sumo Association (JSA) said it would distribute 60 iPads among all of the sport’s 51 training stables.
The announcement comes as the JSA outlined...
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interrobangin replied to your photo: The good news is I ordered two molten lava cakes,…
Are those good? I’ve been curious about the lava cakes.
They are basically tiny chocolate cakes filled with chocolate pudding—or maybe filled with uncooked cake batter? I’m not clear on that. They are tiny chocolate explosions of disgusting pleasure. So if you like that sort of thing, you...
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“There’s some pretty cool people in here. Even though this isn’t a cool place to...”
– Lil Wayne is clearly a badass. I’m going to send Scattergories to Rikers.
Letter #5 from prison.
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Bee Bearding →
“Bee bearding is the practice of wearing several hundred thousand honey bees on the face, usually as a sideshow-type demonstration at agricultural shows. Hive bees are attracted into position by a queen in a small cage worn under the chin.”
-Things I learned about today
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Morrissey's 13 favorite albums
I don’t know a lot about Morrissey, but I honestly expected this to be 13 of his favorite Morrissey albums. That being said, Morrissey and I have surprisingly similar taste in music.*
Jobriath - Jobriath
Jeff Buckley - Grace**
The Smoking Popes - Born To Quit
Damien Dempsey - Seize The Day
Roxy Music - For Your Pleasure
The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico**
...
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“One woman switched off the lights to watch a movie and her shrimp salad started...”
– NPR on glowing pink shrimp purchased near the Oregon coast
Who do you even call when you discover that your shrimp salad is glowing?
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Brooklyn Bridge
I took a self-indulgent cab ride home from the dentist today. I gave my usual spiel: “Take the Brooklyn Bridge to the BQE, please. I’ll give you directions from there.” I don’t even give them a chance to know where my neighborhood is anymore, they never do.
I prefer the Brooklyn Bridge no matter where I am in the city. That bridge means something to me. We share an...
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I'm writing a romantic comedy called "Must Love...
It’s going to be about me looking for a man who loves me and also loves my children, whom I’ve raised to be Hassidic Jews.
In reality it will be about the men I trick in to joining the weird Jewish cult I’m starting with adopted children, but on the surface it will be a hilarious dissection of the complications of falling in love!
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“I call Drake at least once a week, but I actually call three or four times a...”
– Lil Wayne in Rikers, making me sad. I officially think Drake is the worst. Pick up when your mentor calls you from prison, you asshole!
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“It tells the story of a group of intergalactic homosexual black men from the...”
– The plot description from the Wikipedia entry on the film “Gayn*gg*rs from Outer Space” 